“What good is school if you only cram enough facts in your head to pass a test? What good is your education if you stay up all night before each exam trying to store just enough info in short term memory to bump your grade up a letter? That kind of behavior was okay for English and Psychology… those things aren’t your major. But nursing is something you’ll have to do every day for work, and your mistakes won’t take the form of typos. They’ll take the form of injuries and deaths.”—
After reading those words, I drove. Barely being able to see through the pools in my eyes, I drove.
Sadness, anger, disappointment, disbelief, shame, failure; they all polluted my mind.
I found myself staring into the ocean of Santa Cruz. Contemplating what ifs and repeatedly asking Him, “Why?” I sat in despair.
Minutes, to what seemed like hours, passed, I calmed and listened to the white noise of mother nature… The waves shushing my every cry. The wind brushing my back… The sand cradling my heavy soul.
“If I was a dog, my tail would’ve been wagging so hard. My happiness would’ve been that obvious. I heaved a sigh of relief thinking it was a good thing I wasn’t a dog. Then I was amazed at how stupid a thought that was. Even for me." -Kanae Sumida”—
Everyone is vulnerable. One way or another. Vulnerability seeps into our souls and rests among our deepest fears and dare I say.. loves. Its the weak spot. It’s the permanent bruise that you try and cover with a turtle neck or a long sleeve shirt. You can be the most toughest person alive, but thats all the more you’re hiding which leaves you even more, let’s say it together, vulnerable. To be honest, I am vulnerable. I could say I’ve never done this or I’ve never done that but.. try and dig deeper, you’ll see who I really am. Find out what makes people.. tick, if you will. See I don’t know if what I’m saying means anything, but I know that vulnerability is in all of us. You just gotta find it.